Because of lower levels of demand, the number of male sex workers providing services to women is usually limited, even in the cities. However, against the odds, Elizabeth found the consideration and compassion she sought in a country town
NB: All names have been changed for privacy.
Some time ago, I logged onto the Touching Base website and after reading some of the contributor’s stories, I thought I might share my story also.
I am a woman in my mid twenties and I have Cerebral Palsy and until recently I had never had a sexual experience. I’m happy to hang out with my girlfriends but I just want to experience having a normal relationship with a boyfriend. Someone to feel close to, who loves me for who I am.
I was sad that I didn’t have a boyfriend and after many episodes of depression and experiencing jealousy of any friends who had boyfriends, I talked to my Mum and we decided to do something about it.
For me it’s extremely difficult and frustrating to meet young men and engage in a relationship because I always have my parents or carers hanging around. I do try, but nothing much happens. I’d like to have a boyfriend, even though I feel a bit dumb, and can’t think of anything to say.
I need help with all aspects of daily living and don’t have good speech, so communication is stilted and slow. Like I said, it’s very difficult to have a personal conversation with anyone when a carer is hovering, let alone anything more intimate!
Mum and I decided that a “professional person”, a sex worker, was probably the best approach. I wanted the experience to be enjoyable and positive and a sex worker would have the experience to ensure this.
Mum contacted SWOP and the outreach co ordinator was sympathetic and supportive, but since I live in a country town, contacting a male sex worker wasn’t easy. Eventually Mum heard about a place that seemed suitable and she asked SWOP to cheek it out. The news was good, so we made contact.
The owner was pleasant and willing to help us. She listened to what we said we wanted and was supportive.
When I arrived for my first appointment, I immediately felt comfortable and safe. The young man who was to be with me was there with the manager, who was a warm and friendly young woman and over coffee we discussed why I was there and what I expected to happen.
I wasn’t rushed and I felt reassured that I would be treated with consideration and dignity and this is exactly what happened.
I have since had an appointment with a second worker and this went well also. I’m looking forward to my next encounter!
The lady who arranges appointments is very aware of my needs and makes sure that I have someone who is sensitive to me and who is confident about being with someone who has a disability. She even likes to get some feedback on how things went, so she knows she is providing the best service.
I would really like to be in a relationship eventually and while I am content with a professional person for now, I will feel better if I know what it’s all about, when I do find someone. I don’t want to settle for the first person who comes along because I don’t know any better.